April don't fool on me.

Yesterday, it was really April Fool and what a big joke it is? Sometimes I did minor mistakes as well in handling my labworks but not a big deal, but this time the mistakes is really "big" where I can't forgive myself and I blamed myself for my blur-ness. I was upset and down the whole night. I used to do the assay many times but how come I can mess up this time? And I wasted some of the valuable reagents...

I helped my boss to carry out some of the extra experiment works even this is not included in my master dissertation. I planned a schedule of works to finish it before I go back to hometown this Wed for a short break. I wake up early in the morning, went to lab and start the assay. I hope to finish it earlier so that I can go to settle my course registration fee in the afternoon. As planned, I finished the first batch assay and have a break. Supposedly I have a lunch with my friends but end up not. While waiting for my friend come back to get the letter from her, I went to Bendahari to inquiry for my registration fee. Oh gosh, what such unlucky that internet server down and I can't check for my fee status. I need to come back tomorrow again?

My friend come back on time. Therefore I go to her lab to look for her and took the letter from her. This is my first time pay my fee manually and I'm not sure how to pay it. I stayed in my friend's lab, at the meantime, I try to find online see whether I can check my fee status or not. Yeah, I finally can check it. Bendahari - C8 - CIMB - Bank Islam, I don't know how many times I went already in a rushing time and manage to settle the payment before 3pm. Oh yeah, my friend remind me about the opening of an event "Painting and Calligraphy Exhibition" at 3pm at Chancellery. I promised will go to support her as her painting was exhibited there. Therefor, I go together with her for the opening ceremony.

After the ceremony, I back to C8 first together with my friend to print out some documents before I walked back to my faculty. I supposed can do the next batch assay in the next morning but I decided to continue it while waiting for my jogging session in the late evening as I wished not to come to lab in the next morning. My decision is wrong! I think I['m too blur at that time. During the assay, I already can feel there something wrong, I stopped awhile, think and think, try figure it out but can't. Maybe I feel wrong and I continued with it.

Heavy rain suddenly dropped in this late evening and can't go for jogging. My friend who wait for me for almost an hour for jogging decided to go back. I stayed alone in the lab while waiting for my samples to run finish. At the meantime, I managed to catch a meet with my boss, get her to sign some documents and get payment. I thought today is a smooth day for me, all the tasks that I wished to do on that day manage to settle it. But who know it is April Fool in the last minutes, it really fool on me. When the samples run finish and I took the batch out from the machine, then suddenly I realized what is the mistake I had did! OMG! I repeated the same batch where I used back the first batch samples for my second batch assay. I already feel strange why there is a big volume differences during the assay but just don't know why I can't figure it out at that time.  How come I can be so careless and blur, all the works done in this morning gone as well. A day was wasted, all the samples were wasted and what make me feel painful is the limited reagents.

My mood was dropped from heaven to hell. I back home with depressed. I think my roomate can sense it and she try to cheer me up. I choose to keep silent. I kept on think back the situation, blame myself and can't forgive for my own careless and blur. I realized myself earlier that I not suitable to do on research work as I always blur and not motivated on it. I was very down on that night and thinking whether I should repeat the assay the next morning or repeat it after I back from home? I used to do the assay before but now I'm suddenly phobia on it. The reagents are not cheap and I can't waste again. I'm undecided.

I feel like hide myself at home the whole night. I don't have any appetite and mood to go out or ask for dinner with other friends. Since he ask for dinner, then I just go out to have some break and hope can relax my mind. My brain was not functioning at that time and I ask him to think for dinner place. I'm not sure whether he can sense my down down mood or not, I planned to tell him what is happening, but since he not care and not ask, then I decided not to tell. Anyway, my mood was getting better after meet him up, he always can cheer up my day no matter how. My another friends suddenly ask me for supper as well, I join them after the dinner time. My mood is well that time, when I meet with them, I told them what I'm depressing and what problems I'm facing as they always can understand what is research work world is. We always shared among ourselves if we faced any problems, they have their own problems too in handling their research works. They motivated me and cheered me up. I know I have to encounter and face it.

My gloomy night turn out to be a shinny night. After the night, I make up my mind, yes, I decided go to lab in the next day early morning and repeated the assay. I learn from mistakes, remember and remind myself 100% can't repeat the mistake again. Yeah, I did it and looking forward to go back home with no headache. Come back that time have to "cheong" again, aja-aja fighting!

Believe, tomorrow is a sunshine day
and it always works.

2K mistake

Last Wednesday (31.03.2010), did a careless mistake which cost RM2K plus. I'm really feel guilty...I'll remember this and promised won't happen again.

This is the first time I carried out the assay by my own...I observed it before which is around 2 months ago. This assay is abit tedious and never think that i used around 2 hours plus just to do the samples preparation. Should said that I'm not organized in the sample preparation and I'm admitted it.

I should not do the mistake but frankly speaking, that time I was in abit rush. More haste, less speed and mistake also easily happen. That time is nearly reached 5pm, what i worried is that the reader machine. As I know, not much lab got this machine and i scared everyone is away (other lab) which i can't used the machine and my samples can't wait!! My supervisor is still new and poor (instead of grant money) which can't buy all those lab requirement equipments at once time. If the required machine is available in my shared lab, do u think we'll ask from u?? Stupid!!! Machine is there but can't use. Damn pity. Luckily there are still some helpful person in the department which can lend a hand and I managed to do the reading.

In term of the lab facilities usage, actually I more prefer what is in Science Faculty (my undergraduate faculty) where they can shared the equipment and don't have such so-called "politic issue". Feel that in my department (now), alot of money was wasted just in buying equipments. Why can't they shared (some but not all)? Why sometimes they are just so selfish? Izzit the culture in this department? Other department in the faculty also encounter this "Good" culture? I really don't think so...at least they don't have this kind of "politic issue"...Damn!!

Don't blame on others but myself coz the mistake is due to me not other...>.<
Just a simple hope. Can I do my labwork peacefully?
Learn from the mistake and lesson and sure no more repeating.

在逆境寻找突破，
特显隐藏的自己。

My Sample

It had been more than 1 months just sorting out my samples which are stored in the -20C freezer room. It is really cold inside. I was shivering whenever i enter there and will feel that my hands will start become "freezed" after stayed inside for a while. Still not yet start any labwork for the second batch of the samples. Think of can process this samples by December if everything run smoothly.

Guess...n guess what is the sample that i deal with? U sure will feel disgusting and ask WHY? For 1o people that i told, 10 of them sure will ask "why u choose to do it?" Guess...what sample is that??

I like blood actually and my ideal work is to do something related to blood. Since young, i like to "torture" my toes until bleeding. I like to pluck out the toenails especially the last toe until it totally gone, means that toe without toenail!! Try before, not only one but several times that all ten of my toes were in bleeding due to my stubbornness. And because of this, i walk in pain for several days. My parents and family members scold me for don't know how many times already when they realized or saw me tortured my toes/toes in bleeding. Even though is very pain but i never told because is my own "fault", 自作自受, 毋得怨人...As a science student, i know that it is not good as the injured part will easily get infection and inflammation without proper management, but i really did not bother it and let it recover by itself. As human being, i know is not practically good to do this too but i really can't control my mind and my hand to do this!!!! Until now, i still have this bad "practising" sometimes and recently just hurt my toes..However, when i see other in bleeding, i will very care and 心痛. I'll try my best to help out with my first aid knowledge. I will scold and ask to be carefull and not to get injured for next time!! Sound contradiction hor...Its really "能医不能自医"!!

Back to my project sample. Can guess it?? Its patient's sample, not the BLOOD, but the STOOL (the shit, the human shit)...Is the WHY floating in your mind now? Haha..let have a look of some stool samples that i snaped:













































It really has different different kind of stools, got bloody stool, fungal stool (dunno why), dry leave-like stool, plasticine-like stool, watery stool, stone-like stool bla bla bla and different different colour of the stool too...For that past month,I have to transfer the stool in the vial (blue circle) to the microcentrifuge tube (orange circle) for easy-storage. When the first time my senior demonstrate how to extract the virus from the stool, i really very scared of the stool and stand with a distance to observe it. Now, no more scare but feel have fun playing with this shit..Just treat it as sample, the soil sample...Haha..Don't worry, the stool is not smelly and i wear mask and double layer of gloves when handle this stool, so it won't kena my hand unless my own careless/reckless.

It is not easy to become a "CEO"?