Yesterday, it was really April Fool and what a big joke it is? Sometimes I did minor mistakes as well in handling my labworks but not a big deal, but this time the mistakes is really "big" where I can't forgive myself and I blamed myself for my blur-ness. I was upset and down the whole night. I used to do the assay many times but how come I can mess up this time? And I wasted some of the valuable reagents...
I helped my boss to carry out some of the extra experiment works even this is not included in my master dissertation. I planned a schedule of works to finish it before I go back to hometown this Wed for a short break. I wake up early in the morning, went to lab and start the assay. I hope to finish it earlier so that I can go to settle my course registration fee in the afternoon. As planned, I finished the first batch assay and have a break. Supposedly I have a lunch with my friends but end up not. While waiting for my friend come back to get the letter from her, I went to Bendahari to inquiry for my registration fee. Oh gosh, what such unlucky that internet server down and I can't check for my fee status. I need to come back tomorrow again?
My friend come back on time. Therefore I go to her lab to look for her and took the letter from her. This is my first time pay my fee manually and I'm not sure how to pay it. I stayed in my friend's lab, at the meantime, I try to find online see whether I can check my fee status or not. Yeah, I finally can check it. Bendahari - C8 - CIMB - Bank Islam, I don't know how many times I went already in a rushing time and manage to settle the payment before 3pm. Oh yeah, my friend remind me about the opening of an event "Painting and Calligraphy Exhibition" at 3pm at Chancellery. I promised will go to support her as her painting was exhibited there. Therefor, I go together with her for the opening ceremony.
After the ceremony, I back to C8 first together with my friend to print out some documents before I walked back to my faculty. I supposed can do the next batch assay in the next morning but I decided to continue it while waiting for my jogging session in the late evening as I wished not to come to lab in the next morning. My decision is wrong! I think I['m too blur at that time. During the assay, I already can feel there something wrong, I stopped awhile, think and think, try figure it out but can't. Maybe I feel wrong and I continued with it.
Heavy rain suddenly dropped in this late evening and can't go for jogging. My friend who wait for me for almost an hour for jogging decided to go back. I stayed alone in the lab while waiting for my samples to run finish. At the meantime, I managed to catch a meet with my boss, get her to sign some documents and get payment. I thought today is a smooth day for me, all the tasks that I wished to do on that day manage to settle it. But who know it is April Fool in the last minutes, it really fool on me. When the samples run finish and I took the batch out from the machine, then suddenly I realized what is the mistake I had did! OMG! I repeated the same batch where I used back the first batch samples for my second batch assay. I already feel strange why there is a big volume differences during the assay but just don't know why I can't figure it out at that time. How come I can be so careless and blur, all the works done in this morning gone as well. A day was wasted, all the samples were wasted and what make me feel painful is the limited reagents.
My mood was dropped from heaven to hell. I back home with depressed. I think my roomate can sense it and she try to cheer me up. I choose to keep silent. I kept on think back the situation, blame myself and can't forgive for my own careless and blur. I realized myself earlier that I not suitable to do on research work as I always blur and not motivated on it. I was very down on that night and thinking whether I should repeat the assay the next morning or repeat it after I back from home? I used to do the assay before but now I'm suddenly phobia on it. The reagents are not cheap and I can't waste again. I'm undecided.
I feel like hide myself at home the whole night. I don't have any appetite and mood to go out or ask for dinner with other friends. Since he ask for dinner, then I just go out to have some break and hope can relax my mind. My brain was not functioning at that time and I ask him to think for dinner place. I'm not sure whether he can sense my down down mood or not, I planned to tell him what is happening, but since he not care and not ask, then I decided not to tell. Anyway, my mood was getting better after meet him up, he always can cheer up my day no matter how. My another friends suddenly ask me for supper as well, I join them after the dinner time. My mood is well that time, when I meet with them, I told them what I'm depressing and what problems I'm facing as they always can understand what is research work world is. We always shared among ourselves if we faced any problems, they have their own problems too in handling their research works. They motivated me and cheered me up. I know I have to encounter and face it.
My gloomy night turn out to be a shinny night. After the night, I make up my mind, yes, I decided go to lab in the next day early morning and repeated the assay. I learn from mistakes, remember and remind myself 100% can't repeat the mistake again. Yeah, I did it and looking forward to go back home with no headache. Come back that time have to "cheong" again, aja-aja fighting!
Believe, tomorrow is a sunshine day
and it always works.