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Monday, April 7, 2008

OBSTACLE

Well, the obstacle in front i can't...it exist anytime, anywhere, no time limited, no distance boundary. And...U can't see , U can't tough but u can feel it...stuffy...How come? y? Life is always unexpected, what should i being have and where should i being to ? Sometimes, even myself also confusing...i'm blurring...i'm lost of direction !!
Even sometimes, the well-organized planning also will chang without acknowledgement... Uncertainty is always there, can't predict and expect...Crappy !!

Decision-making really need a lot of determination...especially it costs sum of money...Just because of the recent some consecutive annoyance, then only i realize how hesitancy i was..some of the time, i being suffered from insomnia. haiz...

- regarding the 2008 CC Prom Night:
Once the time when you all ask me to join, frankly speaking, before that i really never think to go. I don't have the motivation to go, for unknown reason...But still will depend the majority of the people who willing to go...Here, my hesitates comes...i never confirm clearly and stand in my strong point to say ' I don't go‘ because of... or "I go..." However, finally i also didn't go together with them.

- Here come to next is Redang-Perhentian-Lang tengah- 3 in 1 island trip. This is trip organized by by my Honeydew family. At first, this trip is going for 4 days 3 night which start from 8/5-11/5. For this period of time, i really can't not...because my LI star from 12/5, i don't have the enough time to rush...so, settle...i no need to think more. However, the trip have been changed for 3 days only, that is until 10/5...here i'm ' fluctuating'...plus it only RM 305, for me it is cheaper for going these three islands,but more importantly is that, i can go together 4 trip again with Honeydew. It really bring a lot fun, enjoyment and sweet memories when being together with them. And i really want appreciate the time being together with them as somebody will leave soon...T.T
I hope to go but i hesitate..just mainly because of my LI...is that it provide enough time for me to go penang the next day? i"ll be rushing at that time and i can't settle my transport problem how to go penang. If i don't go, may be i still can follow my friend's car...What is my decision? i go ask some opinions. My family members persuade me to go...My housemate ask me just go, my friend just say u go la,the transportation can settle later de..some say don't go la, next time sure got time go again de...bla bla bla..My family daughter is so good and she offer to accompany me to go penang if i go there alone...but i no need she do it just because of my own troublesome. Since the confirmation need to make within limited time, i'm headache for it. So, i decide to have a nap first.
Unexpected...after i woke up, all thing seems to be clear..Perhaps my mind is really tired, mixed up and can't think further before that. Perhaps SLEEPING is really a good cure for me........my mind is relaxing...Chinese got one good phase "既来之,则安之” that mean: "Nothing need to worry very much, when the time is right, automatically it has its own settlement" (haha...am I translate correctly) .. YES, it will be have settlement after that..so, i decide n confirm to go...

- Another one things is about our genetic department reunion dinner. It is an annually dinner of my course but it not compulsory to attend.For unknown or known reason also, no matter what reason is...i and my friends not such motivated want to join that dinner...maybe because we want save that RM60 , then use it for our big big Mcdonld dinner lo...Candy hor....hehe ...i just simply say only de lar...but some just keep on asking us to go...but we didn't give exact confirmation, just say we'll go de, don't worry (actually we not hope to go) or whatever some lousy excuses...sorry for those who we 'promise' earlier want go 2gether....but we'll go at the 3rd year.

- And, recently is the LI placement. At first, I decided to go iPPT instead of FRIM. Then, is no problem there. However, forgot which day already, i receive an email stated that i was accepted by HKL. At that time, i really hope to go HKL just because of more convenience. I no need to worry about lot of things-transport, accommodation, stuff transfer bla bla bla....Then where should i go? iPPT or HKL? i really blur..no idea...However, after being "analysis" by some of my kinda "kind" friends hor....and perhaps a sleeping also...Finally, i know where should i go...
YES..i want do some RESEARCH !!

Haiz...being crapping so much here de...enough lor...

Perhaps sometimes i can find some of the reasonable excuse to convince myself about the decision that i have made ... Perhaps i can do it ...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dear Lu Kwang Shan,

YOU ARE CRAZY!

PS: Please (DON'T) visit psychologist. Just straight go to one corner and squat.

From,
Chin Shenyang